HI! [it's longer than usual.. terribly sorry abt that.]

i didnt blog for a whole month! but trust mi i have multiple reasons...all of them very good. theres the fact i ended late alot...theres also the fact that i m indeed, a truly lazy bastard. also my life is pretty much empty once u go thru the riff raff and random explosions or true wisdom and utter stupidity. trust mi if u ever open my brain ud see everything is jumbled up. not like kept in neat files like they do in cabbage brains. i bet everything is in a folder and he just opens the folder and get stuff. where the heck is the fun in tt? dont u like the thrill of finding stuff. the fact u can tell ppl ' i have it, its just i dont know where i left it exactly..' heck its like my room. i arranged everything in colour. but not much help since most of my stuff is...yellow. correct! *cookie!.

all in all, the past 6 weeks which i spent in the chemical process technology centre aka cptc aka chemical process tech chalet, was by far the greatest thing i have done with my poly classmates. its to see everyone under a different light, namely sunlight. i learnt alot. like i suck in basketball, i suck in cards, i suck in dota and i suck in chem eng. well not really suck, but im average in everything..which makes mi a jack of all trades and liability. i also learnt qiaoli is exceptionally good in uno, which i suck at.. but hey wats new. i suck at everything... suddenly my whole life is in perspective!. i actually passed the 6 week course..i tot i was like...not goin to pass. heh o well. all i can say is. phew. =X. also i noticed the guys in our course are very very nice people, once u get behind the racism of course. they're all racist no doubt. i think they should all be stabbed by knives covered in acid. but if i had a choice in which order to kill em all, i will defenitely kill them last.... awwww im so nice i guess. deep down im actually a kind sadistic guy. i have no idea why i have thought of death and killing. maybe its coz i haven got my therapy. anyway the unity is good.. u shud see us! i mean ud see lke abt 10 ppl og lan shop sometimes lol..then go home play summore..then i finaly learn everyone is racist when they wanna whack mi with a football.. ow ow ow. __. of course where there is good people, theres always alot of bad people behind them.. like... uh...well basically shark and dark force... [dark force; go ask aloy who...]. but im ok...they dun mess with mi i dun care.. i swear shark and dark force will get murdered first if i had 1/2 the chance. no offecne its not that i hate u all. its just i dun really like u all.. no hard feelings.

other than that...ive done nothing to my social life..how do they do it? have both lives...ive never had a social life.. i wish i had.. like a gf and fren to go out with..but its either my parent wont let mi...or im to...afraid maybe? sigh. still, the grass does look grreener, wouldnt it be nice to check it out? i guess.. i am on a wow hiatus...i passed my maple account to jing ru and i only play dota now which i still suck at sigh. very strange.. o well...i guess its time to stop gaming and get a life.. sad no life around to get. zzz. help..

two things i know i learnt in cptc. 1) i m probably the highest profile non chinese guy ard there [which makes mi like in top 10 overall.] now i really gotta know wat i did. and make sure that i nv do that wherever i go, know wat i mean? i mean being known is ok, but i dont want my secondary school life to be repeated all over agin in poly, i will nv live thru it. sec sch was very scarring and i cant ever go thru it ever agn. alot of stupid things were done, and i was involved even in the most subliminal was and they always just tried to flame me up even i when i was unaware. trust mi if sumthing bad happened they'd all run to mi and ask. and like 15% of the time i have no idea wat was going.. the other 85% well..u do the math. im also like the only non -chinese in my grp of frenz. i remember benny[aka ARC] saying to mi once ' u r the first indian i talk to.' and i was all like ' uh...thnks'.

thing 2) is the fact that most people are just idiots that prolly took a 'DIY learned to be a fucked up bastard' seminar when they were either very young or it was genetic. i mean i cant belive the number of fucked idiots whod msg mi to get info abt bus times and blame mi when it didnt come on time and no thnks when it was on time. i made like 14new numbers thanks to those things.. best of all, the gal who i thought was the second cutest thing alive [qiaoli so ahead of her... no offence.] only talked to mi to get bus times... or to promote religion. either way, it just friggin pissed mi off. so if they are gonna be self centred bastard, just msgin mi for bus timings and thats it, let mi be a self centred bastard and dun reply. i know its not really a solution, but im happy, they're not. so yea! yay mi! its so mean...they nv say hi or anything..is 'wat time bus?'; 'ok' not even a ty... zzz at least i say 'yo tomorrow wat time?' or 'hey (name), blabla' then i will say ' o reallly? zzz and i havent prepared haha thnks; hope i wasnt interrupting anything.' wat ever happened to social ettiquette?? ah dammit. nvm nvm.

the six weeks also showed mi that max & xiew are very nice people. at least can approach max for things like minor therapy. max is like a walkin dictionary but at least hes like the 'cool dictionary'. xiew is more cool than dictionary but he still knows stuff i nv even thought abt. like blood wank and stuff. plus i need them to help mi change my self so that i could attract at least one person...bloody hell rejection is painless now which is probably a bad sign and i guess it would be nice if sum1 actually said...ok? so far ive gone thru lesson 1 one with xiew... lessons 2.1 and 2.2 are underway..[i stopped mmorpgin and play when i need to..not when i wan. but i dont know how to be aloof...] cheryl says that girls look for charm and honesty. but i guess i gotta know wat they want by tt. i mean if i be my own self i will definitely wont get any1. and tryin to be sum1 im not doesnt.. so yea... [shut up im not desperate i just wanna try it out.-specially for specialized ppl out there.]. but i still am lucky to have two great mentors to teach mi stuff. althought i fail they both still pass.. which makes mi envious. xiew is happily attached like a little bug, and max is happily just flirting around. i mean, wat on earth am i doin wrong.. z. all in all max and xiew are the greatest buds around. max said once that i was 'the coolest indian guy he met' and alvin said that im 'not tt bad looking' and that i 'look like will smith abit'. samuel also said sumthing like the fact i talk 'like will smith' too, which is very very...wierd. also xiew did lots of stupid in the cptc.. like b4 he ate a banana hed pretend to bj it... then aft eating hed throw the peeling on top of the sheltered carpark shed while screaming 'wheeee' and running. ppl at the lt could see it. lol. it was so fucked up. also, once when the teacher asked'where is everyone? why the lt so empty?', he just stood up, pointed backwards and said ' toilet wanking.' hehe. i think the teacher didnt hear wat he said coz she replied 'thats a good one' lol ah well. he also walked ard and called mi pussy. zzz. max is known as mr lam but lets not go there lol. max thought mi alot of stuff. still remember the day when he gave free therapy at the back of the lt during one of the breaks and he thought mi how to sms ppl and stuff coz he was amazed that the fact when i msg girls they nv reply...ah well. max is pro la... he's got like one of the trinkets of love frm aphrodite when he was young or something [aphrodite, greek goddess or love, once had that had a very special power. it is said that whoever possed it and just thought a person, that person will fall in love with the holder of the trinket. sadly it caused alot of discord and well..it was bad.]

one of the more freaky people in cptc was justin. but he got mi thinking. the fact with justin was he's different rite? being different made him outcasted, which caused him to be even more different. its actually a vicious cycle.. wat if i ended up like tt? finally scorned by the very people i trusted, making go thru a self destructin phase. it wont be pretty but i will lonelier than now, if possible. he did very wierd things..like try to be a jedi and talk to ql alot...he even asked qiaoli out haha. not my problem but still i felt wierd...*shrug ah well not my problem.

did i do anything to qiaoli? i think i did.. well i guess the only thing i can tell her is..whoops. zzz so sad to get another 'no'/ actually no feelin la so nvm. its not like she was the only one to say no to mi rite? wahaha. wat a way to look at it...ah well..there were sum cute gals at cptc tho. frm nyp. pretty nice...but only one or 2...but theres a lecturer named jasmine whu was quite hot...one year older than mi only...lol. but she attached and its not like i can do anything abt it haha. nevertheless.. she was pretty hot. heh. althought she was nth compared to cute qiaoli ^^. nevertheless i shant give up...3rd year oredi i try until grad nite onz bo? wahaha. zzz theres gotta be something i shud do that will just melt her heart out of hey body... she's just special u know.. like an other half of mi.. totally opposite yet im not complete without her... o well.. if only she knew how much she meant.. but hey, just reject mi ok? if i didnt get rejected, id have nth to insult ppl abt. heh

my blog has no fucking music...which is ok coz i was gonna change it soon anyway..i wanna switch it back to gavin degraw... but sumhow i feel i shouldnt... you ppl need to be influenced under the art of rock. or something other than idiot sluring their speech and dancing. i tell u, music today sounds like drunks tryin to walk and talk at the same time. rap... pfft. u know why they call it rap music? coz when they wanted to print the genre, the letter 'C' fell off. wat ever happened to the good old days of head bobbin up n down in unison to a rock beat, or when there is silence aside frm one guy doin a superb guitar solo like in the eagles or poison. although sum songs recently are very...outstanding. not the music actually, but rather the words. like Gavin Degraw's "I dont wanna be" and the recent Backstreet Boys' "The Unloved", deep down, when u listen to the lyrics or read em while listenin to the song, i just very very...awed...the words made sense. not like sum shit u listen to like 'shut up' or sean paul's 'get jiggy'. Jiggy isnt even a fuggin word! [neither is pro. but lets not discuss the antics of a stupid kid. -.-; my classmates shud know this.]

o and another thing. wats with all the propaganda lately? for those of u close to mi, u will know wat propaganda is. and for the benifit of the doubt, propaganda is wat i label religion. religion is indeed propaganda. it is propagating a cause... it is Material disseminated by the advocates or opponents of a doctrine or cause, saying that it is used to alter and change a person's view of thinking. so is there any propaganda show coming up? i ask this coz that girl daphne started talkin to mi agn... shes asked mi out 3 times in 3 yrs....and just to take mi to stupid propaganda shows...lucky i dun msg her anymore...whu knows wat show she may make mi watch agn. for the love of pete [heh u tot i will say for the love of god..], why wont sum1 ask mi out for whu i m and instead to change mi. bloody all of u a friggin cultist.!

THEORY TIME!

do u know wat a cult is? a cult is a system or community of religious worship and ritual. but the problem is if ure not frm the norm, ure considered a cult. but u must ask urself? wat makes religion different frm a cult? see christianity...islam...hinduism, buddhism, they are not labeled cults.. why? i tell u fucking why. its coz they have too many ppl followin them. they are the damn majority and everything they dont like, they deem a cult... a cult has little ppl while religion has like a whole nation devoted... its just bloody bulshit when u look at things in perspective. i mean..religion has stories behind them..and when cults do, its called false stories. whu are u to say that a cults stories are false? wat makes u think the bible is right? the koran is right? the watever books are right? wat if it was all false? wat if islam hinduism and christianity cults...but they are wide scale world changin cults? wat if it was all a shroud of a lie...

ok i m probably gonna get flamed in taggy if any reads the fact i just called all their religions cults and them, cultists. but look theres gotta be a way to diferentiate. why are there so many religions...if everyone is supposed to be a child of god...wat is man to say which god... and why the heck are there so many god... u r all cultists! all of u. so learn to decide which one we all shud follow. [as offcial due to the fact i have thoughts against the church and other places of worship....i m now labelled a heretic.. thanks alot u guys. more labelling. fruck u [its polish for 'nice one'. ask patrick if u dun believe]

o yea...u shud watch The Practice on star world if u have the chace... Alan Shore aka James Spader is a superbly fine crooked lawyer somewhat and he knows how to talk.. example
*being interviewed
Eugene [owner of firm] : wats this i hear abt u embezzling?
Alan [wanting to join] : well i sorta did a half robin hood.. i took frm the rich.
Eugene: And who did u give it to?
Alan: i kept it.
Eugene: o.o --> O.O
Alan: thats the half robin hood part.
Eugene: and wahts this about bringin a hooker to a wedding?
Alan: the invitation bring a significant other, and i assure you, she was very significant
Eugene: O.O --> -.-
Alan: =D

wat a bastard. but i like the way he talks... he knows how to weasel out and win cases at that..amazing..it all lies in how u talk. yea... must learn.

well thats it acutally..pretty small to put amonth of shit in..o well

basically id like to thank all the good fren and new frenz and ppl i got to know durin the cptc...4 monthof working...gonna miss u guys...='( nuts im sad... yea....see u ard...try not to be racist ok?

KTHXBYE
[so this dyslexic man walks into a bra...]