Profile
Aka: Sivam, Siv, Blitz, Player 3, Yellow Player, Mavis, Mavz
Class: Sin
Status: shell
Aspirations: nil.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
HI!
you know wat? i just realized sumthing abt myself... i will be a great addition to danny oceans team.. coz well...
1) im black. ppl dun really care abt ppl different than them.. and considerin the fact that im the only black guy among my frenz [wen qing does not count u idiots; no offence to wen qing] so usually they look at mi when i do something wrong, stupid or evil. zzz
2) im mean. i mean... yea i do things their way and stuff and its different..sometimes i feel like im being observed or watched...but not seen...know wat i mean. like an experiment in its developmental stage.
3) im no heartbreaker.. ive never rejected a girl or something so love will hardly cloud my issues.. and if it does it kinda puts mi back to perspective when i just say ' wat if shes like all the others?'
4) ppl know mi fast, forget mi faster. i have no identity... im not a bballer... or a study type or a sporty type to them im just.... sivam.. a freak... famous, infamous, wild eccentric, stupid, unorthodox, a heretic with sum issues he needs to settle with a psychiatrist someday. and i get pissed abt tt.. and not because thay such things abt mi... im pissed coz they probably right.. o well...
ever notice there are really too many chinese ard? shudnt u all be nerfed or something? a little bit of natural selection would definitely not hurt.. especially not hurt mi. haha
zzzz i notice also that alot of them know no indians or stuff.. like take benny for example.. im the only indian person he knows.. plus max says im the coolest indian he knows.. so that means he doenst know tt many.. lol... plus im guess im most likely the most famous non- chinese person in chem eng, which makes mi in top 10 overall i think... everybody knows of mi, but none actually know mi. wat u see is a over coat, shroudin the real mi for even i dont even want to show u wat i m really like.. i just try to adapt yet i still get scorned..
max told mi once that im just super sociable and immediately likeable or something.. like im Raymond frm 'Everybody loves Raymond' ; everybody loves sivam.. but when they think about... do they? really? i mean... im usually just the guy to represent minorites... if chem eng was a tv show, id be inside so it wouldnt look too chinese... there'd be ppl saying ' the shows good, im glad they added a black guy for a little bit of colour'. o well plus everyone is my fren... nohing more which really kinda makes it sad when u try to hook up with sum1 u need... or want... or like...because all they say is 'blabla fren and stuff'' . if they were lying ok... but if they were tellin the truth...its still sad isnt it? 'always a bridesmaid never a bride' u cna change it to 'always a friend but nv a boyfriend?'. zzz it doesnt make sense on how sum1 can have so many frenz yet still feel lonely and empty inside. yearning to have a companion to share everything with. i know its uique to be mi but sumtimes... being unique is not good... coz im not unique... im different..im not one of a kind, im just not thier kind. im not described as ' nothing like them' , im described and 'not like them' which apperently gal dun really dig.. im just different...
i wanna be mi... yet no one likes mi when im mi.. wat do i do? any answers tell mi..i really wanna know. esp frm u guys...whu better to ask than those whu observe mi like im a lab rat..
KTHXBYE!
you know wat? i just realized sumthing abt myself... i will be a great addition to danny oceans team.. coz well...
1) im black. ppl dun really care abt ppl different than them.. and considerin the fact that im the only black guy among my frenz [wen qing does not count u idiots; no offence to wen qing] so usually they look at mi when i do something wrong, stupid or evil. zzz
2) im mean. i mean... yea i do things their way and stuff and its different..sometimes i feel like im being observed or watched...but not seen...know wat i mean. like an experiment in its developmental stage.
3) im no heartbreaker.. ive never rejected a girl or something so love will hardly cloud my issues.. and if it does it kinda puts mi back to perspective when i just say ' wat if shes like all the others?'
4) ppl know mi fast, forget mi faster. i have no identity... im not a bballer... or a study type or a sporty type to them im just.... sivam.. a freak... famous, infamous, wild eccentric, stupid, unorthodox, a heretic with sum issues he needs to settle with a psychiatrist someday. and i get pissed abt tt.. and not because thay such things abt mi... im pissed coz they probably right.. o well...
ever notice there are really too many chinese ard? shudnt u all be nerfed or something? a little bit of natural selection would definitely not hurt.. especially not hurt mi. haha
zzzz i notice also that alot of them know no indians or stuff.. like take benny for example.. im the only indian person he knows.. plus max says im the coolest indian he knows.. so that means he doenst know tt many.. lol... plus im guess im most likely the most famous non- chinese person in chem eng, which makes mi in top 10 overall i think... everybody knows of mi, but none actually know mi. wat u see is a over coat, shroudin the real mi for even i dont even want to show u wat i m really like.. i just try to adapt yet i still get scorned..
max told mi once that im just super sociable and immediately likeable or something.. like im Raymond frm 'Everybody loves Raymond' ; everybody loves sivam.. but when they think about... do they? really? i mean... im usually just the guy to represent minorites... if chem eng was a tv show, id be inside so it wouldnt look too chinese... there'd be ppl saying ' the shows good, im glad they added a black guy for a little bit of colour'. o well plus everyone is my fren... nohing more which really kinda makes it sad when u try to hook up with sum1 u need... or want... or like...because all they say is 'blabla fren and stuff'' . if they were lying ok... but if they were tellin the truth...its still sad isnt it? 'always a bridesmaid never a bride' u cna change it to 'always a friend but nv a boyfriend?'. zzz it doesnt make sense on how sum1 can have so many frenz yet still feel lonely and empty inside. yearning to have a companion to share everything with. i know its uique to be mi but sumtimes... being unique is not good... coz im not unique... im different..im not one of a kind, im just not thier kind. im not described as ' nothing like them' , im described and 'not like them' which apperently gal dun really dig.. im just different...
i wanna be mi... yet no one likes mi when im mi.. wat do i do? any answers tell mi..i really wanna know. esp frm u guys...whu better to ask than those whu observe mi like im a lab rat..
KTHXBYE!