HI

the sun has moved out of the house of leo, and has settled in the house of virgo... naturally the earth sign is strong within mi, being a taurean and all [i said taurean like taurus? not tauren like moomoos.] so anyway, i was thinking to myself all week why not i just try my luck

ok back to the beginning... there was this girl... o hell u all know wat happenned when where how and why...just not who.. i can tell u one of the people involved is mi but you probably know that by now. anyway long story short.... chalk another rejection!

basically thats it... sometimes i feel i have ran into everyones circle... everyone has a circle of sociaility. think of it as a arrow board...with the white and red circle lines and a bulls eye

on the outside is stranger,followed by aqquaintance, fren, close fren, best fren and last of all...the one.. the fact is people sort out the placing for people in different ways... like mi, i sort everyone inside close fren or higher, then based on merit and stuff i move em up or down. [i treat u all like objects, coz its easier to refer.] but sadly the point is everyone treats mi as a fren or stranger.. its kinda funny tt way. coz ppl would be appaled to see mi, ive seen ppl ignore mi, ive quietly watched as people merely take a glance, without a hi and just walk off. but not the point

no the point is that i am stuck inside that area.. i cant ever be 'the one' for someone coz im viewed as the frenly one. the guy u can always talk to... the one u can say ' i just wanna be frenz'... i remember alot of that ho boy..wat memories... all bad... yea..but hell still memories. the problem is how the hell do i get out of this vicious cycle?

dont u all see the cycle... get to know a girl, be her fren... take sum time...ask her the qn and she says still be frenz. all thos other guys like wood...john and stuff.. 2 weeks...know a girl...done they're together..now im not comparing myself to them... i cant they're like... l33t?... but its kinda blue to hear all ppl want a re frenz...frenz here and frenz there...

i am so sick and tired of being the bloody fren. just the fren..the person they talk to when they need advice.. do i look like a fuggin therapist? i didnt think so.. watever happened to taking chances and stuff. u know.. screw it.i just dont know how to handle this..one this days im so gonna crack.. b4 that i just ask u all.. wat on earth am i doin wrong? i tried my best..i did wat i had, i told her how i felt and well it sucked. alot..

sigh i dont know.. if u read this give mi sum advice...could use more girl advice...but hey they ignore in real life wat are the odds they come around here...

kthxbye
[ i was lookin thru shss yearbooks... to see how i changed...and i realized...nothing has..]