yo.

 

ok im making this up as i go because

1) im goin to camp soon

2) my thoughts are all jumbled up and clogged so there is alot to write, but i have no idea where to start and finish so it may be all over the place

3) my mood is influenced by the songs i haer in my pod now until i finish which is now:

[Kataomoi Fighter by GO!GO!7188]

sue me if i have any grammar/spelling errors, you english nazis.

 

so in the past few months, alot has happened. but then again when i think about it, its really stuff that would be normal to most people[FU... nevermind]

 

im goin to ord in less than 3 months? and then what am i goin to do? no idea what have i been doin so far? i remember, i forget, i remember, then i realize it was worthless and i want to forget.

 

2 things i would like to hilight

1) when i was working with Winston in Terminal 3 during deployment [happened in march i think. winston broke his hand and is happily playing WoW at home, that lucky jerk] i met Nicholas

you all dont know Nicholas

Nick is my childhood friend. well i knew when i was 5-9 [at least i knew him when i was 7 so i just gave or take 2.. z what is wrong with me]. apparently he was working at the airport as well as a patroller so yea. so we were talkin about random stuff.

Me: M , Nick: N

N: hey i know someone from your school!

M: didnt we attend the same pri school, so that probably liekly

N: not that. from your sec sch.

M: what [at this moment i felt fear. deep fear.]

Winston: W. suddenly he is very attentive

W: really?

M: really? who?

N: Usha

M: [mental *facepalm*] really? tell her i said hi next time you see her [its the polite thing to do, thats what i always say]

N: she told me alot of interesting stuff about you.

M: i bet she would

W: i wanna know!

M: no you dont

W: i wanna know what sivam was like in sec sch.

M: seriously you dont, otherwise i would tell you about myself and my past

W: but you never tell anyone anything

M: thats coz no one needs to know. and if they knew, what are they gonna do? its the past, its over, its crap. i dont care about it, so why should everyone else?

W: i care!

M: i dont care if you care

W: so mean

M: like i said, dont care

W: Nick, say le

M: Nick...

N: but its funny! wierd, but funny

M: you gotta be specific, i did alot of stupid and wierd stuff in sec sch and poly...nevermind. point is, its nothing

N: really? she told me about the time you *some text missing*

M:...

W:...

M i dont remember doing that..

W: OMG WHAT THE HELL

M: thats why i said its unimportant, and why the hell do you know about it nick

N: she told me about it when i talked to her the last time

M: that is just... yeah.

the three of us proceeded to argue about my life and the essence of it [65% stupidity, 30% recklessness 5% slight intelligence(i have my moments i guess)]

so apprently i did something like that once. i cant remember it at all. im certain i would remember doing something like that if i ever did it. but then again im not surprised if i had done it.

 

but really thinking back. if i had done it i would remember. the only time ive done something like that was in poly[sorry 'chiyo-chan'] . but usha said i did it, nicks thinks i did it, winston said he cant belive i did it. i dont remember awww.

 

the second incident was when i met my poly mates for fun

it was may, a date after my birthday

 

o yea, i had my birthday. happy 22 *shrug* dont feel different. i got an sms saying that she didnt forget. of course i think she gave her standard template of 'take care' in her msgs to me, which is usually a sign to not reply or to discard the msg.

 

its true! i was discussing it in my bunk with AJX and he came to a conclusion that when people say 'take care' they dont mean it. its just a polite way to say goodbye. then now its customary to say take care to each other before we leave. and when we come back everyone is like 'hey did you take care' and fake concern

damn my platoon is full of awesome.

wow i complimented my platoon. ok.

anyway the msg was nice i guess, i just dont see whats the point of doing it when she is silent the rst of the time. unless she is a bounty hunter. but what are the odds of that.. low. i could forget about her. but my weak mind is weak lol.

anyway yea, 22!

 

so i met the poly guys: Shawn, John and Pat.

these 3 guys are prolly like my sec sch friends. they knew i was an idiot, but for some reason they still let me stick around. and im grateful for that. shawn was gonna buy a guitar, and he said the other 2 were coming, so i went anyway.

everyone looked the same. not many changes, although i think one of them has a plan for the future already [gratz!]. then were walking and we were talkin about random stuff. connected to the rest of the people

and then realized i did stuff in poly. it went like this

blablabla

Shawn[S]: haha just like the time sivam *some text missing*

Me[M]: haha. wait what?

Pat[P]: heh i remember, it was nice of him but mean of her

M: huh?

P: remember

M: ...nope

S: ... really?

M: well i wouldnt put it past me, sounds like something i would do. but i cant remember

S: wow let me fill you in

Shawn proceeds to tell me the details, with John and Pat helping

M: hm.. i did that

J: yea you did

M: wow.. i think i passively suppressing memories. and now i remember.. thanks

J: no prob

P: haha yes yes you and your bad memories.

i wonder if it is because im growing old, im forgetting stuff, or if i just suppress these memories

 

or maybe i do stuff then forget about it at the drop of a hat coz im like that. meh.

 

we went to get shawns guitar, then went to johns place to fix it up. my first time in his house! pat and john risked their lives to restring john's guitar. they survived =). then shawn left as he had to attend an event, and kristie came over. it was around 7 so my john pat and kristie went to have dinner.

katong laksa= win. price was good. taste was great. then i went home. heh

 

...tts it really

 

other than that nothing special has happened. i will update when i feel like it

 

i'll see you when i see you [lol]

 

['Oh God, a little part of me just died inside'

'look on the bright side, that was the weak part. so now you are stronger']